REAL time with “real time”

bill maher is a douchebag nazi reactionary who hates free speech and fluffy puppies?

well, juh.

great show, though. probably his best. (for the record, i’m not the biggest bill fan – we’re a good example of how divergent two pot smokers’ opinions can be.) it definitely shows him for the reactionary he is – he may want to forget, but i’ll always remember being skeeved out by his willingness to go to iraq in the beginning.

god bless hbo for not editing the whole shitstorm out. not every network is smart enough to realize compelling tv when they see it.

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Published in: on October 22, 2007 at 11:22 am  Leave a Comment  
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my fear of tv commitment

even though i’m a total media trollop, i’ve actually not been able to commit to a series for a long time. sure, i followed “the sopranos,” but that required about as much commitment as a weeknight fuck buddy (not much).

i’ve attempted to get over this fear of commitment for the last couple of years. last year, it was “24,” which i managed to stick with for a good, ionno, five or six weeks straight. then i started making those awful excuses – “need to get to bed early,” etc.

this year it’s “californication,” i suppose, with “weeds” coming in a close second. the fact that they’re paired up on showtime enables this, of course, but is certainly no guarantor of success. but i figured that would be a good start at breaking down my inhibitions (“dexter” seems a bit intense for me, even though i’ve kinda got a hardon for that chick from “the exorcism of emily rose.” mmm, demonic hotties …

thing is, “californication” for me has as much going against it as for it. it’s certainly a little bit too close for comfort to me – david duchovny playing a blocked writer gliding off of past achievements while drunkenly engaging in meaningless “relationships” as he pines for the one that got away. whether i have a “one that got away” is under debate, for sure, but the drunken writer who’s seen better days … uh, yeah.

my other problem is the idea of writers writing about a writer. masturbatory, for sure. it would be so easy to glorify this awful sense of self-loathing that writers “enjoy,” and as i begin my experiment with tv recommitment, i’m not at all convinced that this isn’t exactly what’s going on with “californication.” but i’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and see how it works out.

which might not be so well for duchovny’s character, hank moody, considering the 16-year-old he fucked is about to be part of the family (his ex’s fiancee’s daughter … ouch), and stole the only copy of the new manuscript this douche has been working on since “mash” was still on the air or some crap. now she’s pitching it to agents! any writer worth his/her salt will tell you that a jail sentence for statutory rape (even when it was practically she who raped him) would be far more merciful.

sure, duchovny’s good. what’s not to like? the guy’s got a sense of humor, doesn’t take himself too seriously, despite being a pretty good actor. oh yeah, he’s got a huge schlork. an unpretentious richard gere with milton berle’s cock? i changed my mind, there’s plenty not to like.

not sure what the whole attitude about women is here, either. except for moody’s overly idyllic ex, most of the females here seem to have little going for them apart from the tits and ass they wield to get what they want. and like a true hypocrite, i’m awfully uncomfortable once i get a whiff of misogyny. god, i hope that’s just misogyny i smell.

anyway, we’ll see how far i get with this one. hopefully my ability to maintain a relationship with a tv show will outpace hank moody’s ability to maintain a relationship with a woman other than his ex and their daughter. or maybe they’ll fall apart at right about the same time.

Published in: on October 16, 2007 at 10:28 pm  Leave a Comment  
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vapid viewing and voluptuous vixens

okay, have we finally reached the point yet where we can get past this whole “reality tv is the seventh sign of the apocalypse” and just revel in the end times already?

i mean, we’ve got to get our shit together, people. these farkakta christians keep clamoring about the rapture, and if they’re right, then first of all, my jack chick comics are gonna be worth a FORTUNE on ebay. second, we better get our heathen culture together to prepare for such a “calamity” (a world without christians? uh, oh well … ), and what better way than by watching mtv’s “a shot at love with tila tequila?”

now, i’ll admit that my pop culture chops must be waning, cos i had no idea who tila tequila was when my new hot new york writer chick girlfriend came to stay and asked if we could watch it for her own selfish media analysis. (man, i guess it’s time to finally trade in some of my old cultural references like mike douglas and paul lynde for some from THIS century.)

and normally girls with the last name of nguyen (tequila’s real last name) get my attention. but i have to admit that this reality show alum (evidently she was on “surviving nugent,” which, even though i know all the words to such motor city madman classics as “wang dang sweet poontang,” i couldn’t sit through for longer than 30 seconds) is a little bit skanky … even for ME (like, i’d bang a couple of the “flavor of love” girls, and that’s a commitment to the power of skank that should be above reproach). the girl makes christina ricci’s character in “black snake moan” look like the food network’s sandra lee (a wholesome lady whose face i’d love to smash into one of her table displays while i pound her potpourri-scented snatch).

the premise of the show is classic “mainstream shock.” another reality dating show, “a shot at love” features a twist. it takes the editors a good two minutes to sloooooowly reveal her scandalous secret. jaded fuck that i am, i’m practically expecting her to whip out a pre-op cock from the confines of her one-piece swimsuit. instead, she reveals that she’s (gasp!) … bisexual! which, here in san francisco, is far less scandalous than admitting you watch mtv.

i’m not even sure bisexuality is shocking in sheboygan at this point. but the camera sure did get a variety of open-mouthed looks of horror from the assortment of jocky, jerkoff male contestants involved.

the pilot episode was almost unbearably stupid. for me, of course, the half of the show focusing on the preening male contestants was the worst of it, but the scantily-clad lesbo-stripper (i mean, every single one of these broads looked like she had just hopped off the pole … you’d think there was no such thing as a humble, well-scrubbed lesbian) segment wasn’t much more enthralling.

somehow, though, the editors (unsung heroes of the reality show) somehow made the clips from upcoming episodes look somewhat interesting. this is coming from someone who can’t ever see ENOUGH girlfights, though, so …

but if it fails to follow through on its “potential,” there’s always the upcoming kim kardashian show on e!. yum. for now, though, i’m happy to suspend my two-dimensional covetesness for actual, real girl. a novel thought for me lately.

Published in: on October 12, 2007 at 10:12 pm  Comments (2)  
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