and the nominees are …

avn has announced this year’s nominees for their prestigious awards to honor achievement in the field of adult entertainment.

and wouldn’t you know it? just like the oscars, i haven’t seen ANY of these best film noms!

i’m happy to see that my girl hillary is up for female performer of the year, tho not a bit surprised.

still waiting on word that the AMAZING people at avn will allow me to cover january’s awards show. last year i almost froze my nuts off (18 degrees and snow in vegas! wtf?), but it was worth it.


boycott salinas

dear salinas city council,

upon hearing about your outrageous affront to the will of california voters, i will no longer be spending a single dime in your community, and will convince my affluent friends and neighbors to do the same.

your actions not only fly in the face of the spirit of prop. 215, it shows an alarming lack of compassion for residents and patients who might have the misfortune of residing in salinas.

i would rather spend in watsonville, that’s how much contempt i have for your actions.

fuck you very much,


battle of the not-so-compelling news stories

man, day after slow-news day. i don’t know which qualifies more for the “do i really give a shit?” award – the sudden death of kevin dubrow or the not-so-sudden political death of trent lott.

i can’t even muster up the energy to hyperlink either of them. obviously, copious amounts of alcohol have done little to dilute the tryptophan in my bloodstream.

Published in: on November 26, 2007 at 4:20 pm  Leave a Comment  

bag end

i had totally forgot that we passed this law when i went to my local safeway last week and couldn’t figger out why they were out of plastic bags. i already usually get paper over plastic, so this only affects me for small items, where the paper bags seem really big.

still haven’t jumped on the dirty hippie/guilt-ridden yuppie bandwagon of the reusable bag. i’m holding out for the magical day when we’ll get wise and start making grocery bags out of guilt-free hemp fibres. sigh.

life imitates art (real-life ‘weeds’)

i was mildly appalled (is that possible?) that our former governor moonbeam, a guy who was no stranger to pot when he was bangin’ the likes of linda ronstadt when it <i>meant</i> something, is bragging about record pot busts in california.

what’s interesting is the natural resilience of the grower – kinda like a weed, yeah? and speaking of kinda like ‘weeds,’ authorities are seeing that growers are acting a lot like mary-louise parker’s character on the acclaimed show.

no, they’re not running around in their underwear and looking hot.

instead, they’ve taken up in the suburbs, trimmed the crabgrass that screamed “something not ordinary is going on here!” and otherwise taken steps to make these dwelling blend in with their respective neighborhoods.

bad news for cops. again, i’m not convinced all of these growers (especially in shady-ass elk grove, for fuck’s sake) are doing the lord’s work, but when authorities are jumping up and down bragging about spending valuable state resources on a bunch of plants, it’s good to know there’s someone out there confounding these buggers.

bad habit

FINALLY, a HETEROSEXUAL church scandal that doesn’t make all us mick, wop and spic catholics feel all ooky.

Published in: on November 14, 2007 at 3:48 pm  Leave a Comment  
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oily wildlife makes the baby jesus cry

and me too.

was watching ktvu’s 10 o’ clock news the other night and there was a piece about the effort that goes into cleaning the oil off of just one poor sea bird.

while driving to work yesterday i happened to notice the bay (i work by candlestick park) looks the same way a small pool does when someone coated with suntan lotion has just jumped in. blech.

people are still not quite sure where to direct efforts to help try to fix this sf bay area oil spill mess. if you’re too much of a pussy to get your hands dirty, like me, you can throw money at the oiled wildlife care network, who are busy doing the work described above.

if you’re a real man or woman who’s not afraid of a little smudge, i just scoped out a blog that is centered around coordinating cleanup on the local beaches. it’s called kill the spill.

if you’re just a completely self-absorbed heathen bastard who will only help on a completely incidental/accidental basis, you can inadvertently pitch in, too, if you live in sf! just stop by doc’s clock this friday and fill yer belly fulla beer, and you’ll be contributing to the cleanup cause by merely drinking yourself into a stupor. it’s called friday night for me.

hop-ocalypse in europe!

if you love beer more than all of your family and friends combined, like me, things are looking very bad in europe right now.

all i can do is hope that this doesn’t send the price of ALL beer soaring. some beer relies more on hops than others (india pale ales, for instance), and those tend to be the beers i like the least.

but ALL beer uses hops, so this could send brew fans like me digging a little deeper to enjoy good beer. on the other hand, it’s possible that this will force big brewers like sam adams (who rely on bavarian hops exclusively) to look into options which are closer to home. i simply won’t believe that in a country as large as america, that we can’t turn out hops that, while not steeped in tradition, are just as good for steeping in beer.

microbrewers here in the u.s. stopped looking over their shoulder at europe years ago, and rightly so. it’s hard to beat belgium for beer, but was it any less hard for california to unseat france in the wine department?

Published in: on November 13, 2007 at 2:27 pm  Comments (1)  
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ending the war on … rope

whether you’re the biggest stoner on the planet, the kind of guy who clutches a bong as if it’s his tether to this physical plane of reality, or you think pot-smokers should have their balls cut off to prevent them from procreating, there’s not a reasonable human being on the planet who can possibly think the government’s stance on hemp makes any sense.

thank god american farmers are challenging this unfathomable stupidity. in a world where more teenagers have access to potent drugs through their parents’ relationships with pharmaceuticals, what moron who <i>isn’t</i> a pundit on the fox channel thinks that someone is going to smoke a whole bale of hemp to get half the high you’d get from a couple of st. joseph’s? (mm, those were tasty.)

2257 piece posted on 10 zen monkeys

sure, it was posted here first, but witness the power of editing. the 10 zen version is up today, and thanks to david cassel, jeff diehl and ru sirius for tweekin’ this sucker into shape for the masses.